Memoirs of a Psychologist: Helping Children Cope with Traumatic Events

in Memoirs of a Psychologist, Most Popular

Our life is full of surprises and they are often not pleasant. Everybody experiences traumatic events during the course of life and children are no exceptions. It is important to examine the question how their developing body, mind, psyche and morality reacts to sudden and unexpected life experiences and how adults can help helping children cope with traumatic events and not only survive but bounce back and grow stronger.

Development is endangered by the factors that damage the basic human adaptation systems. These systems are the attachment, the learning and problem-solving capacities of the individual, self-efficacy, the proper functioning of the familial system, the organization of the broader community or cultural and spiritual traditions. Depending on the characteristic of the traumatic event, some of these basic systems or in extreme cases all of them might suffer. (Masten, Powell, 2003)

What can are examples of trauma in the life of a child?

Traumatic events can stem from the individual, from the family or from the broad context of community or society. In most cases, it is hard to differentiate and categorize traumatic life events. For example, a serious, possibly life-threatening illness is an event, which affects the individual, but without a doubt, it exerts effect on the functioning of the family as well. Accidents, teen pregnancy, substance abuse, early antisocial or deviant behaviors, physical or sexual abuse of the child are the most typical traumas children have to face. These events influence the family as well and might have more far-ranging consequences as well.

Family as the Source of Trauma

The family, as a unit, might also be the source of traumatic events for children – either intentionally or inadvertently. Parents, grandparents or siblings can become ill, can have accidents or pass away. Children may be subjected to witnessing serious marital conflicts between the parents that, in some extreme cases even culminate in physical violence. The family might suffer from the effects of divorce, remarriage, unemployment and consequently poverty, frequent relocations, criminality, homelessness or alcoholism.

Society & Community as the Source of Trauma

Community or society can be the source of trauma for children (and families) by not providing adequate and secure housing, lack of social support, oppressing political climate, violence directed to specific groups of the society, chaos, war or simply just providing insufficient economical resources. One of the most important and threatening traumatic events today is terrorism. Nature can be cruel as well, hurricanes, tsunami, eruptions, earthquakes or similar dramatic events happen from time to time. (Reed-Victor, 2003, Rahman, 1999, Grotberg, 1995, Engle, Castle, Menon, 1996)

Traumatic events can happen suddenly, like a natural disaster, a terrorist attack or an accident or they can have a prolonged effect on the life of children, such as poverty, illness or marital conflicts. The effect depends to a great extent on the type of event, its severity, the prospects of the future and the ability of the individual to have an influence over the happenings.

Children Are Vulnerable

The outward signs of trauma in children are not always so apparent. Some children were thought to be invulnerable because they were seemingly unaffected by stress. This assumption, in the vast majority of cases, is simply not true. Some children are able to cope effectively and successfully with greater traumas and more stressful events, while others have lesser coping capacities.

A certain amount of stress or trauma affects everybody, no matter what you think and what you do. Resistance to stress or coping with traumatic events is a relative attribute; it is rooted in the personality of the child as well as in the characteristics of the environment and finally, the ability to cope is changing according to the situation. No one can be described as someone who copes well with all adversities. In contrast, a child, who failed to handle stressful events, might show a surprising coping in the light of an adverse situation.

How can adults help children cope?

Traumatic events often represent a great source of stress for adults as well. Never forget: you are a model to your child. Do not expect him to be brave and slay all dragons if he sees you collapse under the weight of events. I am not saying you should show your child a false sense of strength, but strength you must show. It must originate from the inside and they must be sure that whatever happens, you will be there and try everything you can to make their situation better.

You can teach them problem-solving skills and encourage independence, keeping in mind the capabilities of the child according to their age. When children realize that they can solve certain problems without your help or interference, they will increase their self-esteem and a sense of self-efficacy and learn valuable skills they can transfer to new situations.

It is important to teach them that panic will not help. Even under the greatest pressure or in the most adverse situation, they should keep their calm and act as collected as possible. They need to communicate, ask for help if they need it and be able to locate resources necessary for problem solving or in extreme cases, survival. They should look for allies, as even the bravest and strongest have slimmer chances alone. Most importantly, you should make them aware of the fact that bad things will happen to you as well and they will not be able to avoid them. They should look for bringing out the best of every situation, regardless how bad it is. Traumatic experiences are what they are: experiences. They offer an opportunity to learn from them and to develop. Yes, it is hard to see the chance for development in the death of a parent or a destroyed house, but these events can bring forth skills, abilities and knowledge to adapt and survive.

Children are incredibly strong. The adults in their lives can (and should) provide support, offer tuition or just be there for them when they have to face their own battles.

References:

Engle, P. L. et al.: Child Developement: Vulnerability and Resilience, Social Science & Medicine, Vol 43. No. 5., 1996

Grotberg, E. H.: A Guide to Promoting Resilience in Children: Strengthening the Human Spirit, The Hauge: The Bernard van Leer Foundation, 1995.

Masten, A. S., Powell, J. L.: A Resilience Framework for Research, Policy, and Practice, IN: Luthar, S.S. (Ed.): Resilience and Vulnerability: Adaptation in the Context of Childhood Adversities, New York, Cambridge University Press, 2003

Rahman, A. J.: Early Intervention or Resilience. A Case Study AUSEINET International Conference, Adelaide, Australia, June 1999

Reed-Victor, E.: Supporting Resilience of Children and Youth, Project HOPE Information Brief No. 1. 2003

Photo credit: gemsling via photopin cc

The Five Most Expensive Celebrity Divorces Of All Time

in Divorce, Most Popular

In the words of the 70’s Nazareth rock song, Love Hurts… especially if there is no prenuptial agreement. Mistresses and misdeeds have cost these celebrities plenty of their hard earned total net worth. Long marriages have the highest settlement figures attached to them with a few notable exceptions. Here is a list of the five most expensive celebrity divorces of all time.

Mel and Robyn Gibson

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Mel & Robyn Gibson

After 31 years and seven children together, Robyn Gibson walked away from the marriage with a $425 million settlement. Believed to be the largest celebrity divorce of all time, Gibson puts the blame for the end of this marriage squarely on himself. He fathered his eighth child with Oksana Grigorieva in 2009, the same year as his divorce.

Michael and Juanita Jordan

Michael & Juanita Jordan

Rumors of secret sons and multiple mistresses plagued the Jordan marriage throughout their 17 years together. Married in a ten minute Las Vegas ceremony at the Little White Chapel in 1989, the couple entered into a post-nuptial agreement a year and a half later giving Juanita the right to one half of Jordan’s total earnings. Some private adjustment to that agreement must have been made, as the 2006 divorce settlement ended up at roughly one third of his net worth – $168 million. Jordan recently married his second wife, Yvette Prieto, in April of 2013.

Neil Diamond and Marcia Murphey

Neil Diamond & Marcia Murphey – Forbes.com

Married long before Diamond became one of the world’s leading adult contemporary recording artists (right after Barbra Streisand and Elton John), Marcia Murphey walked away with $150 million in their 1995 divorce. Murphey was his second wife and several different affairs were well publicized throughout the course of their marriage. The settlement was exactly half of his reported pre-divorce net worth of $300 million. Diamond has been quoted many times as saying that Murphey was “worth every penny”. They were married 33 years and had two children together.

Greg and Laura Norman

Greg & Laura Norman – Sports Illustrated

The 2006 divorce between golfing great, Greg Norman and his wife of 25 years, Laura Andrassy Norman, was messy. His affair with Chris Evert, Wimbleton champion and his best friend’s wife, cost him $105 million dollars. The Great White Shark has since gone on to divorce Evert and marry his reported ex-mistress, Kirsten Kutner, in 2010.

Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren

Tiger Woods & Elin Norderen – NY Daily News Photo

The six year marriage between Woods and Nordegren ended in a flurry of many mistresses giving many tell-all interviews. The marriage was dissolved in their 2010 divorce which gave Nordegren a $100 million settlement. This cost to Woods does not include his lost endorsement deals or being the butt of comedians’ late night jokes for months.

Steven Spielberg and Amy Irving

Steven Spielberg & Amy Irving – Photo via SpielbergFanClub.com

Their 1985 marriage lasted four years and reportedly ended when Spielberg began dating his current wife, Kate Capshaw. Although the couple is said to have had a prenuptial agreement, it was vacated by the judge because it was written on a cocktail napkin and had no legal representation. Irving walked away with $100 million, half of Spielberg’s total worth at the time, meaning that she was essentially awarded $25 million for each year of their marriage.

Dennis Roland is a professional blogger that provides advice and information on family law and divorce law. He writes for The Harris Firm, the top divorce attorneys in Huntsville AL.

Child Support 101: Beating the “Deadbeat Dad” Stigma (for Good)

in Money, Most Popular, Parenting, Rants & Raves

By: Chris Piper – Oops, I Knocked up my Girlfriend, mygirlfriendspregnant.com

The single biggest frustration I’ve encountered while learning how to live as a non-custodial parent (a.k.a. single dad), has been dealing with my local child support enforcement agency and adapting to paying my ex her child support payments – both from a financial standpoint and also a psychological one.

Don’t blame. It’s easy to say “yeah, fuck her too…” but remember what got you here in the first place.

I’m willing to bet the majority of non-custodial parents actually wouldn’t mind paying monthly child support if 1) it was a reasonable amount based on the child’s real-life needs and 2) 100% was guaranteed to go to expenses directly for their son or daughter. Unfortunately, this is not usually the case.

Because of this, a landslide of issues land in your lap the day the child support summons gets served to you. Since I am writing a blog post and not a novel, I’ve chosen to cover three of the most important aspects of living with child support payments as a non-custodial parent and not as a deadbeat dad. The two are not synonymous.

Coping

Of all the things I’ve lost throughout this fiasco, I miss my mind the most. If you’re like me, you’ve busted your ass through school and your career to make the money you do now. It doesn’t matter if you are lower, upper or middle class – you’ve made the sacrifices you have to get where you are and you’ll be damned if you have to give away hundreds or possibly thousands of your hard-earned money away each month to someone you only think of in only a malevolent way. I’d rather donate money to a neo-nazism movement.

The best way to mentally move on? For me it was actually doing everything possible to forget about it. Ban family and friends from asking or talking about it. Don’t complain. Don’t blame. It’s easy to say “yeah, fuck her too…” but remember what got you here in the first place. Don’t put up a facade. You are partially here because of the decisions you have made too.

Make peace with the fact that you will likely make payments every month until your child turns 18, or whenever they are emancipated. There’s no point in worrying over a situation that you have little control over.
Put your effort into earning more, not reducing your expenses to make up for your monthly loss. Focusing on increasing your income and not cutting out your morning Starbucks is not only better for your lifestyle and your child’s, you won’t have to wake up thinking about what you are sacrificing on a daily basis. True, earning more can result in higher child support payments, but the increase in payments typically isn’t linear.
If your wages are garnished, just think of it as additional taxes being taken out or money that you are having automatically withdrawn and placed into a savings account for your child. If you manually pay your child support, see if you can automate your monthly payment so you don’t even have to think about it.

Although money is very near and dear to me, I had to realize that it was only money. I will make a lot more of it in time and things like adequate, quality parenting time with my daughter was far more important than just a number (however large it may be).

Budgeting

When my child support payments began, I was living a comfortable life with a small savings stashed away, a 401K and an 810 credit score. But for the most part, I was living paycheck to paycheck. I watched my spending and had set monthly budgets on mint.com for everything from food to entertainment. I knew what I could reasonably afford going into the child support hearing, but when I was ordered to pay over 2x that amount, I knew I was going to be living in the red.

In my opinion, this is the worst part about paying child support. You are forced into a budget and a lifestyle you likely wouldn’t be living so that someone else can maintain or improve their own. Many states currently have an “income equality” model, which in theory allows the child to live in two households but not in two different economic environments. In my case, there is no amount of money that would satisfy the socioeconomic differences between the two households and I felt that my ex was actually profiting off of this. A nearsighted conclusion, yes, but consider looking at your own situation reversed. How far does $250…$500…$1,000 a month really go?

If your child support payments put your finances in the red or begins to cut it too close for comfort, there is little you can do other that tightening your bootstraps.

Focus on what will make a big impact on your budget: reducing your rent or re-financing your mortgage, ending of your car payment by selling your car and cutting out any extravagant spending.
You’ll know where you can cut back in your budget. If you don’t already know all of your expenses each month, now is the time to figure that out and look at what services your can cancel or cut back on.
Again, cutting out the lattes or switching to LED lighting in your home isn’t going to make a dent in your budget. See coping tip #2 above.

Housekeeping

In Arizona where I reside, the child support enforcement agency records all of your calls. I would pay to hear my calls from three years ago when I began paying child support. Although I was always as respectful, you can’t hide pure anger and resentment in your voice. I had a hatred for these people and literally, even their automated prompter that required me to press the number two “for all other people” when option one was “if you are a parent…” Apparently, non-custodial parents aren’t parents according to them.

However, after a recent and my first physical visit to the Department of Child Support Enforcement (DCSE) office, I’ve made some huge realizations. My opinions change as the facts change. So should yours.

In just about every state’s child support enforcement agency, they are underfunded and overworked. The people you speak to most likely hate their jobs and they are doing just that – their job. Don’t get angry at them, it’ll do you no good. They have huge case loads and think about the majority of the people they have to deal with throughout the day – not exactly the pick of the litter. It’s the worst customer service job ever.
Keep records of everything. I can’t stress this enough. Every payment you’ve ever made. Request audits whenever you can so you can ensure the DCSE’s records are on par with what you have made. I recently did this and found a $1,300 discrepancy (they were missing records of that amount – they found them and fixed it). They were super nice about it, apologized profusely for their error and even – get this – followed up with me to see if I had found any additional errors that they should review. Are you kidding me? I can’t even get the IRS to do that.
If your circumstances change, file a modification. Always, always, always try to modify. This is an underutilized process that is there for your use. Check with your state’s statues on what circumstances you can modify for and file for one as your situation changes. Typically a filing fee is required, but you can do this without a lawyer. Know your numbers, get your evidence and go to bat swinging.

Unless something drastic changes, my 40th birthday will be my happiest as it’ll mark the first year since I was 24 that I am child support free. I won’t stop supporting my daughter then, nah…that would have begun when she decided to start dating against my will. This is the time I can finally hang up the gloves for good, relax, take a deep breath and finally know what receiving 100% of my paycheck feels like for the first time in over a decade.

Good luck gentlemen, my hat’s off.

Have a child support story you’d like to share? Need advice on your situation? Leave a comment below!

Dear Son: Know-It-All Kids and Knowledge Versus Wisdom

in Dear Son, Most Popular

Dear Son,

You’re growing up right before my eyes. I’m sure every parent can relate. It seemed like just yesterday that you were just a baby and now you’re headed off to middle school soon. Before I know it, you’ll be a teenager (egads!).

I know what it’s like to be a teenager. Believe it or not, I was once one myself. Let me tell you a little bit about my experience as a teen in the hopes of preparing you for this transition.

Teenagers (Think They) Know Everything

Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt. I was a know-it-all teenager once. I know what it’s like to think that your parents were absolutely clueless. As a teen, you have such clarity when it comes to, well, everything. Once you’ve got that 13 or 14 years of experience under your belt you suddenly see the world from a new view. It’s as if you’re on a mountaintop and you can see everything below you.

You may not realize it (you know it, though – you know everything) but your parents understand this as well. We know you know everything. That’s why we ask you so many questions. Questions like:

Where were you after school today?
Is your homework done?
When is your assignment due?
How are your grades in science this semester?
Who did you send 10,234 text messages to this month?

I know they’re annoying questions. But, unlike you, we don’t know everything so please bear with us as we learn from you.

My Teenage Epiphany

I remember it like it was yesterday (I’m 37 right now). I was 18 years old. I was just about to graduate from high school. I was standing in the foyer of our house, getting ready to leave to go to work. I was talking to my dad about an upcoming trip that I was going to be taking to Europe as part of a foreign exchange program. It would be the longest I’d be away from home in my entire life.

My dad was bestowing some wisdom upon me about spending money for the trip. At that moment, my brain just froze.

Something happened. I looked at my dad; he looked the same as he always did, but I saw him differently. He wasn’t stupid after all. He was actually rather wise. The stuff he was telling me about making sure I carried some cash but not too much actually made sense.

Holy s*#@, my dad knew what he was talking about all this time and I was just now realizing it?

Knowledge vs Wisdom and Understanding the Differences

My dad was wise. He knew a lot about a lot. From the age of 13 until I was 18, he would provide me with unsolicited advice and I would often scoff and proclaim, “Geeze, dad, you just don’t understand!” The truth is, he probably understood (me) better than I did.

Now, later in life I find myself calling my dad all the time asking for advice. Even if I don’t agree with his advice, I appreciate it. I know that his advice comes from years of experience. That experience has turned into wisdom. Children won’t always follow their parents advice, and that’s okay. Sometimes you need to make your own mistakes to truly learn a lesson. But just remember, your parents are smarter (and more knowledgeable) than you give us credit for.

Photo credit: h.koppdelaney via photopin cc

United Airways Scam Letter (Not to be Confused With United Airlines)

in Activism, Most Popular, Rants & Raves

193

United Airways / American Airlines Scam Updates - Updated 3/18/13

Reader Jean was kind enough to send in a recent “voucher” she received. It looks like “American” Airways, United Airways or whatever they’re called this week has upgraded their letter to a voucher/check. Check out the pics below (you can click to view larger versions). I also noticed in one of the video “testimonies” below, they mention a website – http://www.americanairwaysletter.com. The site is now down, so it appears someone must be catching on to this scam.

Have you also gotten the latest version that looks like a voucher?

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American Airways Updated Voucher Envelope

American Airways Updated Voucher Back

American Airways Updated Voucher Letter

Updated 2/10/13

Just when I thought this scam couldn’t get any crazier – I received ANOTHER letter with a different phone number (I’ve added it to the table below), this time signed by Jan Cane. Here, I scanned this version. Check it out:

United Airways Scam Letter Jan Cane

And here’s the envelope:

United Airways Scam Letter Envelope

Updated 1/30/13

I have a few more details to report. Based on the number of comments and hits I’m seeing, this scam is clearly still alive and well. I reached out to local news outlets and found a story that aired on Local 6 Orlando back in August of 2012. Check out the story here.

To receive the free tickets, consumers, like Biringer, are asked to attend a travel agency presentation. Telemarketers for US Airlines explained the presentation was to introduce a new travel agency in town and share information about travel products. Consumers who went to the presentation, however, told Local 6 it was actually a sales pitch for a so-called travel club.

“Basically, you join a club. It costs you $12,900,” said William Grobasky, a consumer who attended the pitch.

As you can see, the letters received back in August were very similar. The differences? The company name, phone number and company “executives” that signed the letters. I’ve yet to call but I’m seriously considering it.

Latest List of Phone Numbers

Below is the latest list of phone numbers being used in this scam:

1-866-949-8023	1-866-949-8022	1-866-949-8021
1-866-949-8020	1-866-949-8019	1-866-956-5596
1-866-955-0878	1-866-955-0877	1-866-955-0876
1-866-955-0874	1-866-955-4310	1-866-956-5595

I’m curious, has anyone called United Airways or American Airway to see what they say about these alleged free tickets?

Updated 1/20/13

It seems that I’m not the only one that’s received this or a similar scam letter (just check out the comments below). Others are reporting that they’re getting the letter under different company names such as American Airways and with different phone numbers. If you’ve received this letter, let us know what the phone number is, who the manager is and what the company name on the letterhead is. If you’d like to scan the letter and have me post it up here I can mask your information as I’ve done with mine in the letter below.

We do NOT want anyone to fall victim to this scam! Help me help others avoid getting ripped off and share your letter with us!

Updated 12/31/12

‘Tis the season for many things. Holiday cheer, holiday travel, gift-giving and receiving and (more than likely) lots of eating. Oh, and I’ll be watching some football in there as well (go Big 10!). But the season is also time for less desirable things as well – like scams. Most scammers are sloppy and unorganized and I usually just laugh at their efforts. They must work at least some of the time or why would they keep popping up, right? There’s an old saying that “a fool and his money are soon parted.”

I received a confirmed scam letter today that made me scratch my head just a bit, though. Check out the letter I received below.

United Airways Scam – A Letter For Two Free Tickets

United Airways Free Ticket Scam

It looks pretty authentic, doesn’t it? They even have a toll-free number: 1-866-962-1931. You know what? I have half a mind to call them and give them an ear full! I could tell this was a fake but apparently not everyone could. According to the Better Business Bureau (BBB), it’s confirmed not authentic, and quite a few people have reported it. It’s actually a scam sent by people looking to swindle honest, hard-working people out of their money. Here’s what the BBB posted about this scam back in JULY:

Consumers nationwide are receiving letters stating that they have won two round-trip tickets courtesy of American Airlines or US Airlines. Don’t be fooled! US Airlines is not a real company, this letter is not from the real American Airlines, and sadly you have not actually won any tickets. These letters are, in fact, scams.

About the scam:

Consumers are receiving either a fax or a hand addressed letter in the mail. The letters have no return address and use a signature stamp as opposed to a meter mark. Most of the letters appear to be coming from Phoenix, Arizona and contain a logo of either US Airlines or American Airlines. The message typically reads as follows:

NOTE: You must respond no later than XXXX.

Dear XXXX,

I am pleased to inform you that you have qualified for an award of 2 roundtrip airline tickets. Congratulations. These tickets are valid for travel anywhere in the Continental U.S. from any major international airport. The retail value of this award is up to $1,298.00. Certain restrictions apply. We have attempted contacting you several times without success. This is our last attempt. If we do not hear from you soon, we may need to issue the ticket vouchers to the alternate.

Please call me today at 1-866-546-1767.

Regards,
XXXX
Vice President

Although these letters may look legitimate, they are not. The phony name “US Airlines” is supposed to resemble the real “United Airlines.” With many consumers reporting these letters, scammers have since switched to using the name “American Airlines.” The letters are NOT, however, from the real American Airlines. This is a phishing scam attempting to acquire your personal information.

The sad part? Someone will fall for it – and many likely already have. When I think of someone like my grandmother or grandfather receiving something like this it makes me mad. The thought of someone taking advantage of the elderly or someone more trusting is just wrong. The best part? It’s the holiday season!

What’s Wrong With This Letter?

To some of us, this is clearly a fake. But what lead me to believe that it wasn’t real? Here are a few things that stood out:

The less-than-impressive letterhead. The letterhead looks like a cheap knock-off. “United Airways”, if a real company, needs to spend more money on the letterhead they send to customers.
The fake company name. As the BBB article mentions above, the scammers are trying to impersonate a legitimate airline. However, there’s no such airline as “United Airways”. The REAL airlines that look similar to the fake company represented are actually United Airlines and US Airways. I guess they thought they were being clever combining the names.
The hand-written envelope (see below). While I would appreciate a personal touch if a company sent me a hand-written letter, most large companies don’t. The fact the letter is actually hand-signed and hand-addressed was a big clue this letter was a fake.
No such thing as “free”. Since when does any company stay in business by giving away $1298.00? Um, pretty much never. At least not for a good reason. If you get a letter that says you get something for free I’d always be very skeptical.

United Airways Free Ticket Scam Envelope

Free Ticket “Testimonial” Videos (Also a Scam)

Since publishing my post just a few days ago, I’ve also uncovered a number of “testimonial” videos for the free ticket voucher. Don’t believe everything you see on the Internet, folks. These are just part of their scam. Sorry to all you iPhone and iPad users but these videos are all Flash.

Recieved a Letter from American Airways – The funniest videos are a click away

Got a Letter from American Airways – Funny bloopers R us

Have you gotten any letters like this in the mail or have you seen any other scamming techniques recently? Tell us about the scams you’ve seen in the comments below.

Are Parenting Blogs Leaving Dad in the Dust?

in Life, Marriage & Spouses, Most Popular, Parenting, Work & Career

If you Google the words ‘parent blog’ you’ll see some pretty big name parenting blogs – The New York Times Motherlode, Business Week, and even one for the NYC Public School parents’ blog (NYC does it up right, don’t they?).

Most of the ‘famous’ blogs and bloggers related to parenting are women. Go ladies! But what does that mean for the men? Why do Mom Blogs dominate the parent’s blogging scene? Where are the men – all out playing golf all day long?

I’ve been in the blogging ‘biz’ (where ‘biz’ = blogging for the hell of it because it sure isn’t paying the bills) for a little over a year now and I’ve only recently started investigating other parent blogs in earnest. I started my blog as a sort of online journal for my own personal thought collection point, journal and therapeutic outlet.

I was blogging in a bubble, basically.

I only later came to find out others were actually reading what I was writing and relating on some level. Now, not only am I writing my own blogs but I’m also reading (quite a few) other blogs on a regular basis – moms, dads, technology (love my Mac!) and even some cooking blogs from time to time.

The mom blogs are fantastic! I can’t get enough of them, actually, and the networking among mom blogs is great as well. I’m seriously considering a trip to BlogHer in August in San Diego. Seriously.

So, why aren’t there more dads writing parenting blogs? I have a few theories of my own, keeping in mind that I likely wrote this after 4+ cups of coffee…

Dads Don’t Read Blogs

(Dads) don’t have time to be reading about feelings, ‘love languages’, breast feeding techniques, debates about which is more difficult – raising boys or girls and other such trivial parenting topics. Dads visit CNN.com or FoxNews.com from time to time.

Oh, and don’t forget about eTrade.com to check those stock quotes and the occasional porn site when the need…ahem…arises.

Other than the aforementioned sites, we don’t have time to be reading about feelings, ‘love languages’, breast feeding techniques, debates about which is more difficult – raising boys or girls and other such trivial parenting topics. Give us a break, ok? We have no opinion on these silly topics and even if we did we wouldn’t want to share them with you!

If you need us we will be out in the garage watching TV.

Dads Don’t Participate in Parenting

Here’s the deal – we’ve been at work all day. Yeah, that’s like 8 hours…maybe even a little longer. The last thing we want to do when we come home is sit down at the computer and work (again).

We want to have a seat in our favorite Lay-z-boy, drink a beer or seven and relax.

That’s it.

You go ahead and take care of laundry, dinner, the dishes, cleaning the house, feeding the children, homework, bath time and the various other duties that parents are required to do. So what if you went to work for the day as well? You’re the mom; act like one!

Oh…and bring me another beer!

Dads Don’t Write (or Can’t or Won’t)

Parenting topics, for the most part are…well, they’re kinda boring.

Now, if you wanted us to write articles about the fastest cars in the world, our favorite power tools or how to hit the perfect par 3 using a 2-iron, we’re all about that. If you insist on forcing (or coercing) us into writing boring articles about parenting then it ain’t gonna be pretty.

We’re talking 2^nd grade level at best.

There will be no spell check…

No punctuation…

No grammar or capitalization.

Save that crap for you momma! Or We’ll Capitalize Every Word – just to drive you nuts.

Ok, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest and the caffeine is starting to wear off a bit, I hope you were able to tell that this article is satirical and wasn’t meant to be taken seriously. I don’t know why moms dominate the parenting blogosphere with such force; I wish I did know.

The dad blogs that are out there are pretty damn fantastic and I track many of them regularly. We just haven’t garnered the attention and following that many mom blogs enjoy. I do hope that dad blogs continue to grow in quantity and quality and eventually reflect what I feel is our place in the family and on the online family blogging universe.