Help! My Ex Won’t Abide by the Child Custody Order!

in Divorce, Memoirs of a Divorce Attorney

Divorce is such a messy, emotional, painful situation. Unfortunately, it is also an indefinite situation. As long as you have children, you will forever be tied to your spouse. Sometimes that connection turns a bit ugly. Find out what you can do if your ex won’t abide by the child custody order or visitation rights.

Child Custody and Visitation Explained

A child custody order gives one parent the right to make decisions for the child as the legal guardian. The non-custodial parent is usually granted visitation rights with the child. Unless there is a court order, visitation cannot be denied.

My Ex Doesn’t Follow The Visitation Schedule. Is There Anything I Can Do?

If your ex isn’t abiding by the court mandated visitation schedule, there are several things you can do. The action you take can range from mild to severe.

Get your attorney involved. Ask him or her to send a strongly worded letter to your spouse. Remind the other parent there is a violation of the court order taking place. Inform him or her you are willing to take legal action and there will be penalties enforced if changes aren’t made.

Involving a lawyer is a wise decision. First, your spouse will get a serious wake-up call if he or she knows an attorney is involved; this stances shows you are prepared to take legal action if need be. Second, the attorney can lend support and help you through the difficult situation.

Call the police. File a police report to document the violation.

Modify the visitation judgment. Ask the judge to include the exact time and place of each visitation. Ask to reschedule missed visits, include family therapy in the custody order or involve a moderator.

File a motion for contempt of court. Ask the court for permission to withhold child support in exchange for the violation. Or, ask for attorney’s fees to be compensated as punishment.

Sue for custody. If your visitations have been restricted so severely, it might be time to re-examine the child custody order.

What Will Happen To My Ex if I Take Action?

The action a judge takes will depend on personal preference, as well as the severity of the violation. However, it is definitely possible for the court to retaliate on your behalf.

Punishment may come in the form of extra visitation rights, suspension of child support payments, and a change of custody.

Is It Ever Legal to Deny Visitation?

Generally speaking, no; it is not ok to deny visits. The only way to stop visitation rights is with a court order. The most common reason why a custodial parent would try to deny a visitation is if the non-custodial parent is late with child support payments. However, visitation rights must still be upheld.

If the custodial parent fears an unsafe visitation environment (alcohol or drugs are present, for example), the police should be involved. This is the best way to determine if the situation is or isn’t suited for children. The custodial parent should never take the law into his or her hands.

That being said, there are some instances where a judge might suspend visitation rights. These instances include (but are not limited to):

violence or physical harm is suspected
child abduction
non-custodial parent is engaging in substance abuse
imprisonment
extreme sexual activity that might have negative ramifications for the child
emotional abuse

If I Decide to Take Action, Is There Anything I Shouldn’t Do?

When fighting against a child custody order or visitation violation, there are certain things you should not do. Otherwise, the court won’t validate your request.

Don’t violate the court order. No matter what your spouse has done, don’t stoop to that level. Always take the moral high road.

Don’t forget to document everything. Take careful notes of everything that transpires. Jot down what your spouse did and how you reacted.

Don’t berate your spouse in the presence of your children. When possible, the judge will encourage both parents to take an active role in the child’s life. Turning your child against your spouse won’t influence the judge’s decision – but it will make things more difficult for your child.

Don’t take the child away from his or her support system. Now is not the best time to move, uprooting your child from doctors, school, and friends. This will definitely mark you as the underdog.

Don’t hesitate to hire an attorney. Sure, family law and divorce lawyers are expensive. But trying to battle intense, complicated, frustrating legal proceedings in the midst of an emotional crisis is not wise. Plus, an attorney has previous experience handling these types of situations. That expertise will really help your case.

After a divorce, a connection will remain between spouses. While that connection can sometimes be strained, it is possible to ensure both parties get what is legally theirs. Time with your child is too valuable to risk; fight for your visitation rights.

About the Author

Jessica Velasco works for a divorce lawyer in Clearwater, Florida. Smitherman Law has been helping parents with their family law needs for over 30 years.

Photo credit: lhongchou via photopin cc

Memoirs of a Divorce Attorney: Resolution Without Divorce?

in Divorce, Memoirs of a Divorce Attorney

Couples may feel that divorce is the only option when their marriage begins to fall apart. However, there are many popular alternatives that allow for each individual to move on with their lives and avoid lengthy, painful divorce proceedings. There are many reasons for couples to avoid divorce. Some religious traditions forbid divorce even when the living situation has become unmanageable. Some couples simply cannot afford to hire divorce lawyers or pay court fees. Regardless of the reasons, couples should consider every avenue open to them when making such important life decisions.

Option 1: Legal Separation

A legal separation remains as one of the most popular choices as an alternative to divorce. Couples choosing this option are typically limited by economic or age conditions which make an actual divorce an impractical answer. Though this choice is popular, it usually only serves as a temporary solution. Eventually some form of a more permanent legal situation must be established. The need for this type of action often arises when one member of the couple wishes to remarry.

Option 2: Mediation

Mediation from a neutral third party can allow for couples to resolve their differences outside of a courtroom. This step should be the next one up from counseling. Seeking marriage counseling is generally the first step that couples take to avoid a divorce. If the differences are irresolvable, then mediation can ease the process of splitting assets and other practical components of the marriage. The mediation process can help to separate the anger and the emotional pain from what must be done in regard to the day to day living concerns. A mediator listens to the desires and opinions of both sides without attempting to determine who is in the right. Instead, the mediator takes the concerns into account and attempts to find a resolution that is fair to both parties.

Option 3: Trial Separation

Couples in the past have also chosen to simply live apart while making the financial adjustments necessary to accommodate the situation. This solution is often the case when there are still children that need to cared for financially. Many solutions such as this remain stable without ultimately leading to divorce. In terms of the financial repercussions of this choice, it is necessary to have a lawyer make adjustments to living wills. Because there is no divorce in place, a spouse should allocate a small amount of money to the other party. This amount can be as small as one dollar. The remainder of the possessions and money can be left to children or any other individual they see fit. This step, in turn, protects the assets of the individual from the significant other in any situation.

If divorce is inevitable, then couples can choose to go through the proceedings in a variety of ways. Mediated proceedings work in much the same way as the approach outlined above. Litigated divorce is the traditional and most common method of divorce. The other alternative is collaborative divorce which will help to ensure a quicker, less emotional legal resolution.

When is a divorce final (and why does it take so long)?

in Divorce, Legal, Memoirs of a Divorce Attorney

Divorce is confusing (trust me, I know this first-hand). That’s why I like to bring in legal experts every now and then to answer some of our frequently asked questions about divorce. One perfect example is the question, “When is a divorce final?” If you’d like to have a question answered by a real attorney, just use my contact form and send me your question!

All states have what are considered ‘fault’ and ‘no-fault’ grounds for divorce. Generally, an uncontested, no-fault divorce will be finalized much sooner than any other type of divorce proceeding. In many states, a simple, no-fault divorce with mutual consent between the former spouses can take roughly five or six months if properly handled. This is essentially the “best case scenario” for a duration of divorce. The “worst case scenario” is a contested divorce with numerous ancillary issues. The worst case scenario can take several years. According to nationwide reports, on average, a divorce usually takes slightly longer than one year to complete.

How can you speed up the process?

You might be wondering why it takes so long and if there is anything that can be done to expedite the process. In many states, one of the most important steps in getting a divorce finalized is for both parties to agree on a separation date. If the couple does not agree on the date then the issue may have to be argued and decided at a hearing or before a judge. The judge will have to be supplied with many details surrounding the circumstances surrounding the divorce. This can add considerable time to the proceedings.

Each side having an experienced, local attorney can help, too. In many states, once the date of separation is determined, the attorneys can tell the parties how best to proceed. Depending on the type of divorce allowed in the state, the steps needed to finalize the divorce will vary. If the divorce is mutual, then generally the divorce is as simple as both parties signing a consent form (sometimes after a statutory waiting period.)

What circumstances can delay a divorce?

However, if the divorce is not mutual, then the process is merely just beginning. If one spouse contests the divorce, the grounds, or the issues related to the divorce, they may begin by contesting that the marriage is not irretrievably broken or they may state that they have not given consent. If one spouse refuses to give consent, the other spouse may have to wait years to pursue a divorce on no-fault grounds. After that, a spouse may still make a motion to request alimony or additional child support.

Some states require that the two parties to a divorce be separated for a period of time before a divorce can be filed. Some states also require the spouses to take parenting classes in instances where there are children involved. Both of these scenarios obviously add to the total amount of time it takes from the decision to divorce and the finalization of the proceeding.

Some states have residency requirements that must be met. This can vary from no requirement to many states that require a one year residency. If your state requires residency and you do not meet the requirements, you may also be in a situation where you have to establish married residency of a certain duration in the state you live in in order to begin the process of filing for divorce. This will also add to the time before you can file for divorce. To see a full list of each state’s residency requirements, click here.

Divorce proceedings can range from being a relatively straight forward process to being constested, drawn-out, and complex. The time it takes for a divorce to be finalized as well as the proceedings itself vary from state-to-state. While these are generalized observations, it is best to consult with an experienced attorney in your home state if you are a party to a divorce.

About the author
Joseph Lombardo is a New Jersey divorce attorney with offices in Hammonton and Atlantic City. He has been representing clients in divorce and custody matters in Southern New Jersey since 1993.

Photo credit: roeyhram via Flickr.

Factors to Consider Before Pursuing a Custody Modification

in Guest Posts, Legal, Memoirs of a Divorce Attorney

Deciding whether to pursue a modification of your custody arrangement is one of the most emotional and complex decisions a divorced father can make. Even though this situation is one where emotions can run high, the ultimate decision should be guided by the most important variable – what is best for your child.

Legal Standard for Modification of Custody or Access

As a Texas family law attorney, I am only an expert in Texas family law. What follows is the legal standard for modifying a Texas custody arrangement. While state laws vary, every state has some mechanism that allows for modifying custody. If you are considering pursuing a modification case I would strongly recommend that you do a consultation with a good local family law attorney about the specifics of your case.

In most cases in order for a Texas court to modify a custody arrangement it must find that the modification is:

In the child’s best interest; AND at least one of the following -
There has been a material and substantial change in the circumstances since the last order; OR
A child at least 12 years old has indicated to the court the child’s desire to live primarily with the moving party; OR
The custodial parent has relinquished primary care to another person for at least six months.

Does Your Situation Require Modification

I frequently do consultations with prospective clients who are considering pursuing primary custody through a modification case. Their reasons vary from those that are very serious and require immediate action (“I believe my ex is using cocaine and my kids are in danger” or “My ex just let her convicted sex offender boyfriend move in”), to the legitimate but not requiring an emergency response (“I think my kids would get better grades and behave better if they lived with me” or “My 14 year-old son keeps telling me that he wants to live with me”), to others that are simply immature (“my ex is a b**** and I can’t stand dealing with her”). Every situation is different but it is important before proceeding with litigation to determine whether your situation is one that is worthy of the costs involved.

Consider Specifically What Will Be Different if You Win

In the old days (in most states, circa 1980-1990 or before), visitation for the non-custodial parent (usually this meant dad) was roughly a couple of weekends a month and some extended period (maybe a few weeks or a month) in the summer. Currently, under the expanded version of the Texas Standard Possession Order, the overall time split between the custodial parent and the non-custodial parent is roughly 60/40. So for the parent who already has extended visitation a custody modification often boils down to who gets 60 and who gets 40. Clearly there are some other key elements that can come into play (exclusive decision making rights, right to determine where the child will live, who will pay child support and how much, etc.), but the person who is considering whether to pursue custody simply because they want to have more parenting time often doesn’t realize just how small the difference will be if they succeed in the modification.

Costs Involved With Custody Modification

Another key variable to consider before pursuing a modification case is the cost involved, both financial and emotional. Custody cases are the most emotionally-driven, gut-wrenchingly painful kind of cases to experience as a litigant and consequently the type of case most likely to actually to go to trial. As anyone who has ever been a party in a contested custody case can attest, this can get enormously expensive. And some would say the financial cost is nothing compared to the emotional cost in terms of your time, energy, and resulting stress.

Effect of a Custody Battle on Your Child

The final and most important variable I will mention is the effect the case can have on your children. However bad your relationship might be with your ex, it is guaranteed to get worse during and after a custody battle. Part of the job of each family law attorney is to show the court just how bad a parent the other party is. So each party’s history as a parent and failings as a human get dissected and analyzed during the trial. No one leaves the courthouse after a custody hearing with warm and fuzzy feelings for the other parent. Obviously, this can have a long-lasting negative impact on any co-parenting relationship that exists.

Another more direct impact is the involvement of your child in the case. In Texas, by statute (depending on their age) the child’s wishes as to who they want to primarily live with is a key piece of evidence in the case and often the deciding factor. This obviously puts the child in the uncomfortable and sometimes emotionally damaging position of choosing between parents.

Evaluate Carefully

While there are certainly situations that call for pursuing primary custody in order to protect your child’s best interest, it is a situation that requires careful evaluation beforehand. The unfortunate reality of a lot of custody litigation is that it can make a bad situation worse.

Lessening the Impact on Children After Divorce

in Divorce, Guest Posts, Legal, Memoirs of a Divorce Attorney

Memoirs of a Single Dad is happy to announce a new series of articles we cleverly titled “Memoirs of a Divorce Attorney.” Real-life, board certified divorce attorney Scott Morgan of the Morgan Law Firm will be contributing pieces on a monthly basis in the area of divorce, child custody and other related legal matters. Please don’t hesitate to leave questions or comments in any of his posts and to visit his website as well (linked in his author bio below). We sincerely hope you enjoy and benefit from this series.

Marriage is a life-changing event, though perhaps not as life-changing as a divorce, especially if there are children involved. Divorce makes parenting exponentially more difficult because children need stability. They need independent relationships with each parent, free from the influence of any negativity between the two parents. It’s called co-parenting and it’s a concept that recognizes that children need TWO parents who understand and respect the importance of one other in those children’s lives, despite their feelings for each other. Here are some tips on co-parenting with your ex, even if your former spouse isn’t cooperative:

Communicate in a Civil Manner

Communication with an ex can be a stressor, but in the case of children, it is necessary. You must endeavor to make that communication as painless for both parties as you can. Don’t let emotion overshadow communication. Assume a business-like demeanor, stick to the subject at hand and be polite, even if your ex is not.

Do Not Vent to Your Children

Vent to a friend or family member. Vent to a pastor or counselor, but do not EVER criticize your ex in front of or to your children. Tearing down the other parent puts the child in the awkward and unwinnable position of having to choose sides. Agree with you and they forsake the other parent. Defend the other parent and their loyalty to you is in question. Do not put them in the position of having to choose, because the only loser in such a situation is the child.

Do Not Discuss Finances with the Children

Finances are adult issues. The fact your ex is late on child support is none of the child’s business. If you think the ex gets too much alimony or spends child support foolishly, keep in mind, the child has no say and no control over such issues and should not be burdened with your opinion of the other parent’s choices.

Coordinate Holidays and Special Occasions

Each parent deserves to share in special occasions with their children. Parents who can work out such issues amicably will have happier children. Holidays, birthdays and vacation time must be split equitably between both parents. Sporting events, performances and recitals are times when both parents will want to be and should be present when possible. Being able to exist peacefully in close proximity to one another will ensure that such times remain about the child and not about your problems with your ex.

Learn to Accept Your Ex’s New Partner

You don’t have to like them. They don’t have to like you. You just need to make sure the child has the freedom to form a relationship with the new partner without offending you. It’s best to keep your opinions on the new partner to yourself.

Let Your Kids Know They are Loved and Valued

Nothing is more important to a child than love. They must be reassured by both parents that nothing will ever deminish that love and that they can live their life and make their choices free from the burden of wondering whether or not they are loved at home.

It is not enough that a custodial parent merely “allow” a relationship with the other parent, they must “encourage” it. By following these co-parenting tips, you can help make the aftermath of divorce much less stressful on your children.

Cover image by Jason O’Halloran via Flickr.

Ten of America’s Strangest Laws

in Current Events, Legal

So, I had a little time on my hands and was surfing governmental websites the other day and came upon a very unusual law. This, of course, gave me the bright idea to make a list of the 10 Strangest Laws in America. Hold onto your hats (unless prohibited by law in your area); these are some strange laws.

In Alabama – Bear Wrestling Matches are Prohibited

A person commits the offense of unlawful bear exploitation if he or she knowingly does any one of the following:

Promotes, engages in, or is employed at a bear wrestling match.
Receives money for the admission of another person to a place kept for bear wrestling.
Sells, purchases, possesses, or trains a bear for bear wrestling.
For purposes of exploitation, subjects a bear to surgical alteration in any form, including, but not limited to, declawing, tooth removal, and severing tendons.

Source: http://codes.lp.findlaw.com/alcode/13A/12/1/13A-12-5

In Florida - It is Illegal for a Doctor to Ask a Patient If They Own a Gun

A health care provider or health care facility shall respect a patient’s right to privacy and should refrain from making a written inquiry or asking questions concerning the ownership of a firearm or ammunition by the patient or by a family member of the patient, or the presence of a firearm in a private home or other domicile of the patient or a family member of the patient. Notwithstanding this provision, a health care provider or health care facility that in good faith believes that this information is relevant to the patient’s medical care or safety, or safety or others, may make such a verbal or written inquiry.

Source: MyFloridaHouse.com

In Georgia – Two-For-One Beer is Against the Law

- Sec. 6-3-7. Alcohol promotions. No licensee or employee or agent of a licensee shall engage in any of the following practices in connection with the sale or other disposition of alcoholic beverages: (1) The giving away of any ticket, token or any other item that can be exchanged for any alcoholic beverages with the sale of any other alcoholic beverage; (2) The sale of two (2) or more alcoholic beverages for a single price, or the sale of one (1) alcoholic beverage with a ticket, token or any other item redeemable for a subsequent alcoholic beverage. Also prohibited hereunder is the sale of all such beverages a customer can or desires to drink at a single price. (Ord. of 8-8-91, § 8).

Source: http://library.municode.com/HTML/12400/level3/PIII_T6_C6-3.html

In Indiana – Catching Fish With Your Bare Hands is Illegal

Sec. 1. (a) Except as allowed by section 3 of this chapter, a person may not take fish from waters containing state owned fish, waters of the state, or boundary waters of the state. Other methods of fishing that are not permitted include dynamite, shocking, firearms or a crossbow. Bummer.

Source: http://www.in.gov/legislative/ic/code/title14/ar22/ch9.html

In Kansas – You May Not Strike a Vending Machine (Even if it Stole Your Money)

9.48.020 Opening, damaging or removing coin operated machine.

A. Opening, damaging or removing coin-operated machines is wilfully and knowingly opening, removing or damaging any parking meter, coin telephone, vending machine dispensing goods or services, money changer or any other device designed to receive money in the sale, use or enjoyment of property or services, or any part thereof, with intent to commit theft.

B. Opening, damaging or removing coin-operated machines is a Class A violation.

(Ord. 1585 1 (part), 1997)

Source: derbyweb.com

Watch Out WWE, In Louisiana – “Fake” Wresting Matches are Illegal

RS 4:75 75. Sham or fake contests or exhibitions

Whoever conducts or is a party to any sham or fake boxing contest or wrestling exhibition shall forfeit his license and shall not thereafter be entitled to receive any license pursuant to the provisions of this chapter.

Acts 1974, No. 553, 1. d

Source: http://www.legis.state.la.us/lss/newWin.asp?doc=96955

Those in Glass Houses (and Maryland Playgrounds) Shall Not Throw Stones

Sec. 15-52. Improper language or behavior.

No person shall use any profane or indecent language or behave in an offensive manner in any public park or playground of the city or upon the sidewalks adjoining any public park or playground.

(Code 1966, 20-7)

Source: http://library.municode.com

In Wisconsin – No Roadside Camping in a Wagon

(or you risk being fined up to $10)

It shall be unlawful for any person or persons to camp in wagons, tent or otherwise on the public highways or lands adjacent thereto, after a notice to remove therefrom by the owners of such adjacent lands, or the owner of land abutting on the highway, or by a member of the board of supervisors or any trustee of any town or village where such camping place is made. Any person or persons violating the provisions of this section shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon conviction thereof shall be fined not exceeding $10, or imprisoned in the county jail not exceeding 30 days, or both.

Source: http://statutes.laws.com/wisconsin/86/86.025

In Spokane, Washington – It’s Illegal to Kneel on a Pedestrian Skywalk

Listing 10.10.060 Skywalks — Prohibited Acts.

A. No person may commit any of the following acts within the pedestrian skywalk system or within any pedestrian mall:

1. sit, kneel, lounge, lie, or otherwise recline upon floors or stairs;

(Ord. C-28629)

Effective Date: 4/1/1987. Passed On: 2/23/1987

Source: http://www.spokanecity.org/services/documents/smc/?Section=10.10.060&Find=council

For All the Supervillians – In Utah it’s Illegal to Cause a Catastrophe

76-6-105. Causing a catastrophe.

(1) Any person who by explosion, fire, flood, avalanche, collapse of a building, release of poison gas, radioactive material, or other harmful or destructive force or substance, or by any other means, causes a widespread injury or damage to persons or property is guilty of causing a catastrophe.

(2) Causing a catastrophe is a felony of the second degree if the person causes it knowingly and a class A misdemeanor if caused recklessly.

Enacted by Chapter 196, 1973 General Session

Source: http://law.justia.com/codes/utah/2010/title-76/chapter-06/76-6-105/

5 Tips for Dealing with Your Spouse’s Divorce Lawyer

in Divorce, Guest Posts, Legal, Separation

When contractual agreements are finally agreed upon and signed, the prior emotional upheaval created during divorce proceedings can create a list of regrets. To avoid emotional or ill informed mistakes, you’ll want to attempt to gain the upper hand with civility and strength. Dealing with your spouse’s divorce lawyer will require a calm, calculated and practical approach.

Divorce Tip #1 – Hold it In and Deflect

The aforementioned emotional trigger-finger is an easy target for your spouse’s divorce lawyer to hone in on. Regardless of the blatant or underhanded comments and/or demands your ex-to-be or his or her attorney hurls your way, deflect, deflect, deflect. As in most cases, keeping your cool will reap greater benefits in the long run.

Divorce Tip #2 – Remain Active

Let your attorney know beforehand that you will be an active participant in the process including viewing pertinent documents from both sides. If your spouse’s attorney attaches transcripts of any harsh, untrue or other potentially damaging language that your attorney misses, you may be able to have it removed before it goes on record.

Divorce Tip #3 - Educate Yourself

Do the best you can to educate yourself on your rights and how your particular state plays a role in that. Often, the court you are filing with will offer anything from an informational packet to an actual class allowing you to learn about your pending divorce. Avoid sitting through negotiations like a ‘deer in the headlights’ and seek out a capable court clerk, ask your attorney, purchase a text or go online to the chamber of commerce, town hall, state or court’s website to seek self-education help. As attorney’s may go through the everyday, rote process, sometimes clients are the ones to catch forgotten information that may pertain to protecting themselves from their adversary’s misinformed or potential, underhanded practices. Also, if you can educate yourself about your spouse’s attorney regarding their work record, reputation and overall personality this may also create an advantageous edge for you and your attorney.

Divorce Tip #4 – Stay Realistic and be Willing to Concede

Expecting your attorney to treat your spouse’s attorney like a sworn enemy is unrealistic. Lawyers are often working peers that are simply trying to make a living just like everyone else. Ask your attorney how well they know your adversary. If they have a friendship it may work to your benefit especially if you remain calmer than your spouse during the process. In addition, holding on to material items out of spite will only pour fuel on the fire. Know when to concede to requests for things that will not make a difference in the years to come.

Divorce Tip #5 – Watch the Bill

In some divorce proceedings, covering your spouse’s attorney fees is one of the contract points that may come your way. If this is the case and you agree to it, then requesting a copy of your adversary’s billing log should be within your rights. Going over such billing with a keen eye can sometimes save you money. This should be applied to your own attorney as well.

Keep your cool, even when things get a bit hairy. Talk to your own lawyer and do your best to have as little contact with your spouse and his or her lawyer as possible. The process will be far behind you before you know it.

About the Author: Matt Tomasino is a full-time writer with a major focus on personal finance, law, and relationships. He can often be found contributing finance content to CreditLoan.com.

Cover Photo: by jojo a ivika via Flickr

Casey Anthony Verdict – Sign of a Flawed System or Justice Served?

in Current Events, Legal, Parenting

Casey Anthony Found Not Guilty

1x1.trans parenting legal current Casey Anthony Verdict Sign of a Flawed System or Justice Served?

Image: ABC News

I’m sure you’ve heard by now – Casey Anthony has been found not guilty on all counts related to the death of her daughter, Caylee Anthony. She was found guilty on 4 minor counts related to providing false information to police. It’s been estimated that she will only receive a sentence of time served plus a few months, meaning she’ll be free by around Christmas time.

These verdicts beg two very important questions:

Will there ever be justice for little Caylee Anthony?

Sadly, I don’t think anyone will ever be held accountable for Caylee’s death. The person most likely to be implicated in her death has been acquitted and I don’t see the state bringing up charges against anyone else at this point given the current evidence available. Someone got away with murder, or something close to it anyway.

Were the not guilty verdicts a sign of a flawed system or proof that our justice system works as designed?

As for the legal system of this country – I have said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m glad I wasn’t on that jury! I can understand why they came back with the verdict that they did even though I don’t agree with it. I think it was the legally correct verdict but not the right one. The jury was put in an unfortunate circumstance. Quite frankly, the defense was correct – the state didn’t prove beyond a reasonable doubt how Caylee died. Unfortunately, the trial of Casey Anthony will be this century’s version of the OJ Simpson trial, it seems. Reasonable doubt was not adequately proven and the one person the evidence (even if primarily circumstantial) pointed to is going free.

You’re a Bad Mom – A Casey Anthony Commentary

in Current Events, Legal, Parenting, Single Parent

I watched a good portion of the Casey Anthony murder trial, not because I was interested but because JenB was borderline obsessed. I watched from a distance with a bit of a skeptical eye. I haven’t commented at all on the Casey Anthony trial that’s now in its 6th week here in Florida up to this point. I think there were plenty of other opinions floating around. There was really no need to add my hat into the mix. But something said during the news coverage while the jury was deliberating sparked a thought in my brain that I just can’t seem to put to rest.

If you watched the closing arguments, you saw the state and defense give their last ditch efforts at proving and refuting their respective cases as to the guilt or innocence of Casey Anthony. The defense purported all along that Casey was a “good mom”. Despite her irrational behavior, her bevvy of lies and her missing and then confirmed deceased daughter, Casey was a good mom.

Really?

Even after the trial during news anchor and expert guest discussion, it almost seemed like they were having a hard time calling Casey Anthony a “bad mom”. I know they were thinking what I was thinking – how could a woman (or parent, for that matter) be called a good (parent) when their child died? It doesn’t even matter if the death was accidental or intentional. It doesn’t even matter if the death was at the hands of Casey herself or aliens from another planet. Innocence or guilt can be discussed and debated indefinitely and I can honestly say that I’m glad I’m not on that jury. The indisputable fact is that a child died while in a mother’s care. That’s enough to tell me that ~~someone~~ Casey Anthony is a bad parent.

Is calling someone a bad parent such a taboo that few are willing to do so, despite the most basic of evidence in the case – the child is dead? Casey Anthony, you’re a bad mom. Period.

France Bans On-Air Mentions of Twitter and Facebook

in Current Events, Guest Posts, Legal, Technology

French Flag: by Dorian C. - Nantes via Flickr

1x1.trans technology legal guest posts current France Bans On Air Mentions of Twitter and Facebook

Photo: by Dorian C. - Nantes via Flickr

A French law established in 1992 states that the endorsement of companies and/or brands is prohibited during news broadcasts and it seems that this has now been interpreted by France’s Conseil Superieur de l’Audiovisue (CSA) to include the mentioning of the social networks Facebook and Twitter.

Christine Kelly – spokesperson for the council – is keen to point out that the decision is by no means an attempt to prevent the use of these websites and instead serves to offer a more even playing field for all social networks.

It is important to note however, that if social networking websites like MySpace and Bebo were as widely used as their biggest competitors, then maybe they would be the ones involved (and therefore mentioned) in the latest headlines.

How exactly the change will be implemented is unclear. Some of the biggest news stories of recent weeks have involved the two largest social networks. The news story regarding an Israeli couple naming their newborn child “Like” would still obviously been in reference to Facebook even if the word “Facebook” had been replaced with the phrase “a popular social network” in reports.

Information regarding Ryan Giggs’ “extra marital activities” has been fuelled massively by the micro blogging website that is Twitter (resulting in Giggs’ claim that he will attempt to sue Twitter and several of its users) and the removal of this context could have made the story most confusing to news audiences in France.

I would also like to point out that simply mentioning brand names within reports is not necessarily an endorsement of those brands. Significant stories need to be reported and their context made clear even if the context is that of either of the two popular social networks. Viewing and listening figures could drop in the wake of withheld information, with the French instead turning to the internet for their daily dose of news and – ironically – to the two shall-not-be-named networks themselves!

If the news broadcasts in France are anything like those in the UK or US, then celebrities are mentioned often. Should this not be lessened or altered to include lesser known celebrities too (based on the level playing field argument) even if they have not been involved in anything of late that is news worthy?

I would not say that the mentioning of Facebook and/or Twitter in the news anywhere in the world is a problem but I do think that news networks should be careful not to merely report on any story just because it somehow involves one of the two social networks. This is truly what leads to the overexposure of these brands.

UK Guest Author Kat White writes about happenings all over the world from celebrity gossip and news to banking, finance and credit cards.

The Winds of Change…

in Divorce, Legal, Parenting, Separation

Child Support Guidelines to Change in Florida

1x1.trans separation parenting legal divorce The Winds of Change...

Photo: tjshirey on Flickr

Child Support Laws Changing 1/1/11Big changes are on the horizon in Florida when it comes to alimony and child support guidelines in the state of Florida. These new guidelines take effect on January 1, 2011 and will impact how a non-custodial parent’s child support obligation is calculated. I can see an upside and a downside to these changes. For those agreements that squeek under the current 40% timeshare guideline required to ‘significantly’ reduce the support amount, there may be some changes. Time share of 20% as of 1/1/2011 will be what is required to qualify for a “significant reduction” in the child support amount.

The ability to claim a child as a dependent on a tax return is also changing. Current IRS guidlines dictate that the parent with primary residential responsibility automatically gets to claim the child(ren) on their taxes unless the residential parent agrees to give up/share the deduction (more info here: http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f8332.pdf.) If I’m interpreting the changes correctly, this will be changing to a rotating basis when the new laws take effect.

Of course, I’m no attorney but this information is readily accessible on the internet for Florida and other states. Below is the specific excerpt from the Florida Department of Revenue’s published document, “Changes to Florida Tax and Child Support Enforcement Laws”. Bolded and italicized text has been added by me for emphasis.

https://taxlaw.state.fl.us/pdf/2010%20plr.pdf

Child Support Guidelines

Effective Date: January 1, 2011
Statute Reference: Sections 61.29 and 61.30, F.S.
Chapter Law: Sections 4 and 5, 2010-199 (CS/HB 907)

Provides that each parent has an obligation to support his or her child, that the guidelines schedule is based on the parents’ combined net income as if the parents were living together and that the guidelines encourage fair and efficient settlement of support issues.

Adds that when information about a parent’s income is unavailable in a child support proceeding, income shall be automatically imputed to the parent and there is a rebuttable presumption that the parent has income equivalent to the median income of a year-round, full time worker as derived from the current population reports or replacement reports published by the U.S. Census Bureau.

Specifies how a court may impute income in an amount other than the median income. To do so the court must conclude that the unemployment or underemployment is voluntary and identify the amount and source of the imputed income for which the party is qualified.

Changes how support is determined for a parent with a net income that is less than $850 per month. Specifies that the obligor parent’s support payment shall be calculated as the lesser of the obligor parent’s dollar share of the total minimum support amount and 90 percent of the difference between the obligor’s net monthly income and the current poverty guidelines as updated in the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Federal Register for a single individual living alone.

Deletes the requirement to reduce child care costs by 25 percent before adding them to the basic support obligation.

Adds the impact of the Child & Dependent Care Tax Credit and Earned Income Tax Credit as a basis for deviating from the guideline amount.

Changes the guidelines deviation for significant time-sharing (shared parenting). The percentage of overnights that may be considered as significant time-sharing is reduced from 40 percent of the overnights a child spends with one parent to 20 percent.

Changes the amount of time that triggers a mandatory deviation from the guideline amount for substantial time-sharing from 40 percent of the overnights to 20 percent.

Good or bad, it’s coming one way or another. Thanks for reading.

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