The below posted is an anonymous guest post submission from a single mom. There are some questions and answers in here – I’m not sure there are any right or wrong answers. But as a single mom, how do you know when it’s “okay” to get involved in a new relationship? What are your experiences? Be sure to leave your feedback in the comments below and let us know how you feel!
During the first few years of taking your responsibilities as a single mom, you tend to get extremely busy and the thought of needing a man is not likely to strike at you yet. However, there will come a day when you will realize how much you wanted to be with someone. You will become conscious of your longing for that person who can give you unconditional love despite your status. When this day comes, you have to be prepared for the challenges tied with getting romantically involved while attending to your duties as a single parent.
You thought of being in a relationship again, but are you certain you are ready for it?
You once had a failed relationship and you might be anxious of the possibility of going through the same path again. You will never be happy if you keep on dwelling in the past. Do not deprive yourself to love and feel loved. You are supposed to be a smarter woman now and you must believe that you can have everything under control. Know your limits and bear in mind that you have your child’s welfare to consider whether you’re in relationship or not. When you have established this mindset, you can say that you are ready to get into a romantic partnership again.
Someone is attracted to you and he asked you out on a date.
It is not a crime to go out on dates. However, you have to make the person aware of your condition right away. Some men do not mind being seen with a woman who already has a child, while some consider this a taboo. His reactions toward your revelation will tell if he’s open about getting attached with a single mom.
Is your child’s right to know what you are ‘up to’?
Let your child know about your moves, but of course, you have to say it in a manner that they can understand. It is his right to be aware of your decisions and he has to know that his welfare will always be your foremost concern. Do not hesitate to say that you will eat out or watch a movie with this guy. Tell him that he’s a friend and he is a good man. Arrange a simple gathering so you can introduce them to each other. Gradually, your child will become acquainted with the guy you are dating with and it’ll be easier to explain when you decided to open the doors for a new relationship.
Your love affair and your priorities.
As what’s been emphasized above, your child still has to be your number one priority. It is understandable that you are excited about your newly found passion but never neglect your child. Do not make him feel that things have changed the day you got involved with this guy. It will give him a negative impression that can affect your relationship as mother and child.
Your knight in shining armor must understand all these. He should accept you for what you are and be attentive to your child’s needs, as well. He should not compete with your child and instead, help you out in molding him into a person with integrity and a sense of wholeness despite the absence of his father.