The Dating Game – Bienvenido a Miami

Hey there, everyone. Do I have a doozie for you in this story. I always marvel at other people’s outlandish dating experiences. Sure, I had some dates that were pretty far out there, but as I hear more and more experiences from women I come to appreciate the sanity that I experienced in comparison to some womens’ experiences. I’d sit down while you read this one, but I have a sneaky suspicion the heroin in our story below isn’t the only one that’s had a ‘date’ like this. Don’t forget to vote by leaving a comment and by sharing using the buttons above!

I was feeling a little desperate as I searched for an apartment or roommate. I had a week before I would be getting kicked out of my current residence because the family I was renting a room from just decided they wanted me out. My finances weren’t the greatest which limited the luxurious beach side apartment buildings and living alone. Searching online, I found someone willing to rent out a bedroom. I inquired and learned that it was a single man looking for a roommate. Like I said, I was desperate and agreed to meet with him.

The “Date” Setup

I met Joel after work one evening. I should have known better, going to his apartment after 10:00pm, but I was in a crunch. Joel opened the door to his apartment. He looked like he might be going to the gym later. His shorts and t-shirt are about two sizes too big. Yeah, he thought he was cool. Most men don’t realize that they don’t have to be dirty but Joel hadn’t learned this yet. I wanted to bleach his apartment and sweep the floors. I had only seen the kitchen and was ready to explore the rest of the place.

We part from the kitchen to a 6′ x 8′ room. This was what he was offering to me for a room. I grinned, realizing that I wouldn’t have a door and that this room was just outside of his bedroom. The bathroom, that we would share, was through his bedroom. I told Joel that the room is much smaller than I was hoping and wondered where I would store my furniture…and clothes. He suggested that we share a closet that was already filled with his crap. “I don’t know, I mean, I’m in a crunch but I don’t know if this is going to work out.” I told him. “You don’t need to make a decision right this second. Why don’t you hang around for a little bit and we’ll get to know each other and see if we’d get along?” Joel suggested. Out of desperation, I agreed. He seemed like he was nice and that we would be able to get along but it is never fun living with strangers.

The “Date” Plan

We sat down in his bedroom because it was the only place to sit down. I sat in the chair in the corner as he lounged on his bed. We make small talk. “Why are you so uncomfortable?” He asked after a few minutes. “Do I look uncomfortable?” I may have rambled about us being complete strangers and I was in his apartment and it was getting late and I had a 30 minute drive.

He offered me a drink and I declined.

He flipped the television to the news and we started talking about current events. Something interesting came up on the television and because I sat in the chair in the corner, I couldn’t see the t.v. I moved over and sat on the edge of the bed.

I made a huge mistake. It is in this moment that Joel boldly kisses me.

I didn’t see it coming and let out an awkward giggle. “You are really beautiful. I could never live with you and not be with you.” He kisses me again and I am a bubble of awkwardness. My mind is racing, what should I do? Should I just kiss him but won’t that lead him on and I don’t even know what just happened but it is kinda nice….I pulled myself away and told Joel that I better be on my way and that I’ll let him know about the room. I already knew the answer was HELL NO, I can’t live with a guy that wants me. I wouldn’t be able to sleep. What if he jumps me in the middle of the night while I’m dreaming about something pleasant?

“Don’t go. I was just really getting to know you.” Joel says. He kisses me again and there is a lot of commotion going on. I try to peek and see what he is doing, but he positions my face and keeps kissing me. Finally, our kiss has ended and Joel is on his bed and no longer wearing his shorts.

He’s also…very…happy.

I stood up and he took off his shirt. Completely nude with a boner laying on his bed. “I want you.” He touched himself unapproachably in my company as he taunted me with dirty promises. I’m sure my face had the combined look of shock and disgust. Seriously, I just met him and he thinks I’m gonna jump into his bed because I’m at his apartment late at night? The taste in my mouth has gone bad and all I can think about is going to the gas station and buying some tic-tacs. “I’m not gonna rent the room and I should get going.” I told him and found my way to the door.

The “Date” Aftermath

I got to my car and wonder what the h-e-l-l just happened. Joel called me on my drive home and apologized. He told me some line about being so attracted to me that he just got lost in desire. We agreed that living together wouldn’t be a good thing but Joel wanted to see me again. And you know what?

I agreed to go on a date with him.

If Joel laying naked on his bed was our first day, you’d never guess what we did our our second date! Instead of wooing me or taking me out to dinner, Joel took me on a drug deal. Yes, it is true. He had me hide his money in my shorts just in case something went wrong and more money was demanded. And I was supposed to act like I had no money at all. I’m the world’s worst liar… and then after the exchange of drugs happened, Joel asked me if I would put the electricity in my name because he was broke and needed someone to pay the bills. After all of this, I told him goodbye and to never speak to me again. He called me an hour later when he asked if he left his cigarettes in my car. I looked and told him that I had them. He demanded that I get them back to him. I looked in the cigarette case to discover that the cigarettes had been tampered with. So, I did what any responsible adult would do after this sort of date with this sort of guy…I tossed out his “cigarettes” and blocked his number.

This Post By Daniel Ruyter

Daniel Ruyter has written 347 posts in this blog.

Single dad, founder & editor of four sites and newly-published author of dating rules book, Memoirs of a Dating Dad. Daniel lives in Florida with his two sons and Fiancee, JenB.

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