Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming…
I am a full-time working, single mother of 2 young daughters who owns and maintains my own home, writes in my spare time and is in training for a triathlon.
To many in my life, the above statement invokes words like “amazing” and “inspiring”.
Me? I’m just doing what I do. I mean, who else is going to do it, right? More often than not, I struggle. Sometimes I feel like I’m running in place. Occasionally, I feel like my head is above water and I can breathe… if only momentarily. I do my best to stay in the present to push through. No one ever said single parenting is easy. The same can be said for triathlons.
Last week I met with a new swim coach. I’ve been trying to find more balance when I compete. I’ve done a few triathlons before but have noticed that I panic in the swim portion, which tends to slow down my finish time. Never one to allow fear to keep me from accomplishing my goal, I’ve decided that this triathlon season, I’m going to push myself to find peace in the pool. Some Zen in my free-style, if you will.
I was nervous about working with this particular coach. She spends 14 hours a day in the pool. She’s practically a mermaid. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if she could breathe underwater and had fins for feet. I’ve only been swimming a short time after a 2 year hiatus from triathlon. Even before that, I was never an expert swimmer. I felt like I flailed around like I was drowning instead of looking calm and serene in the lap lane.
After watching her glide wavelessly through the water, she asked me to swim a few laps while she observed. I sputtered and flapped 50 meters all the while hoping she could see what needed correcting. “I want my swimming to look like hers,” was the lone thought in my mind.
“Wow! Look at you!” she assured me, “You’re practically there. I can’t see much to fix. You look so peaceful and beautiful in the water.”
I was stunned. How could I look peaceful when it seemed like a struggle to me?
An hour later, in the locker room, I ran into an old neighbor from my married days. She has stayed in contact through Facebook for years.
After catching up on how our kids have grown, she jokingly referred to me as “Miss Inspirational”. I gave her a puzzled look. She responded, “Seriously, you are so inspiring to me. I remember how difficult your divorce was. But I see you so emotionally strong, so together, your girls are happy and you take such good care of yourself. You look so peaceful.”
I was stunned. How could I look peaceful when it seemed like a struggle to me?
That’s when it occurred to me that the only way I can actually feel peaceful in the water is to keep doing it. The more I keep swimming, the more I’ll feel that I can trust the water. And the more I keep “swimming” as a single parent, the more I’ll learn to trust where I am at any given moment.
After all, from what everyone sees on the outside, I’m apparently doing something right.
T Delano & Kids
After blogging anonymously for 4 years, T Delano has decided to out herself on her new blog, Chronicles, Inspirations and Musings (http://www.tdelano.me/). A single mother of 2, she initially began blogging as a way to journal through her divorce and first post-divorce relationship. The bloggy single parent support system and friends she has made through blogging have inspired her even though many of her real life non-blogger friends don’t understand. A talker by nature and living a life that always has something going on, storytelling through blogging is one of her favorite pastimes. Follow her on twitter: @tdelano
Photo: by Michael Lokner via Flickr.
There Are Currently 25 Comments on this Post
I love how you always manage to find the metaphors in yoru life. I wish I could do that, and swim a little better too. You truely are an inspiration to me.
Jack
Source: Memoirs of a Single Dad (http://s.tt/15e8c)
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For a while, I raised my 5 girls alone. It was a difficult time, but looking at them now I can’t find much I should have fixed (or tried to).
What a interesting post.Your such a super woman in your two daughters.being single mom is hard but you are so strong to have all the responsibilities.
Very interesting post, being a single mom is a very hard thing to do…gladly you find a great stress out…swimming is really good sports and so relaxing to relieve a stress.
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That is a very inspiring post! Being a single mom is very hard, but with passion and love,you can endure every race.Keep on swimming!
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Hi…I am really thankful that I have found the post you have here for us…Great job!!
I’ve had this same response to my situation and I react the same as you, “what? really? we’re talking about me, right?” It’s a strange phenomenon I think for us because we can be so critical of ourselves. This IS a great metaphor and it worked so well!
Thanks so much for your comment, Mimi. I think we’re all stronger than we give ourselves credit for!
This is a truly inspiring post. The first line reminds me of Dori from Finding Nemo. My divorce is not final yet and it’s been an exhausting uphill battle that I still don’t know what the outcome will be but I’ve been living the single mom life and even co-parenting for nearly 2 years now. My close friends told me I’m so calm now, but if they only knew what’s inside. Thank you for sharing this it really means a lot.
I think it’s difficult to assess for some people what single parents go through. After all, we’ve perfected the art of looking like we have it all together for our kids, right?
What a lovely post. It’s true. I’ve totally been feeling like I’m sinking these days, but then I look up at my beautiful daughter and see how amazing she is….
I mustn’t be doing so bad. I just have to keep keeping on, even when it seems that drowning is the only way it’s going to go.
I ain’t drowned yet!
I ain’t drowned yet either! Haha! Love this comment! Keep on keepin’ on, Lindsay!
Love this post! It is indeed very inspirational and admirable. Looking peaceful after a difficult divorce is such an achievement for every single parent or person who had experienced it.
Thank you so much!
This brought tears to my eyes. I have heard the same things and felt the same way over the past year and a half of being a single mom. Thank you for writing it so beautifully. I hope you are inspiring yourself the way you do others!
It tough but temporary. We’re all in it together!
Thanks so much for these great comments! Thanks for posting too, Daniel!
You’re welcome. Thanks so much for your post and your thoughts as well. I personally loved the metaphor as well and knew that it would be well-received once posted!
Loved this post! T is definitely an inspiration. Big hugs to T and Daniel… xoxo
Thanks! Big hugs to you too!
I agree with Jack’s comments. You rock T, and you are such an inspiration to me.
Much love to you Linda!!
I love how you always manage to find the metaphors in yoru life. I wish I could do that, and swim a little better too. You truely are an inspiration to me.
Jack
Thanks Jack. And you to me too!