If you Google the words ‘parent blog’ you’ll see some pretty big name parenting blogs – The New York Times Motherlode, Business Week, and even one for the NYC Public School parents’ blog (NYC does it up right, don’t they?).
Most of the ‘famous’ blogs and bloggers related to parenting are women. Go ladies! But what does that mean for the men? Why do Mom Blogs dominate the parent’s blogging scene? Where are the men – all out playing golf all day long?
I’ve been in the blogging ‘biz’ (where ‘biz’ = blogging for the hell of it because it sure isn’t paying the bills) for a little over a year now and I’ve only recently started investigating other parent blogs in earnest. I started my blog as a sort of online journal for my own personal thought collection point, journal and therapeutic outlet.
I was blogging in a bubble, basically.
I only later came to find out others were actually reading what I was writing and relating on some level. Now, not only am I writing my own blogs but I’m also reading (quite a few) other blogs on a regular basis – moms, dads, technology (love my Mac!) and even some cooking blogs from time to time.
The mom blogs are fantastic! I can’t get enough of them, actually, and the networking among mom blogs is great as well. I’m seriously considering a trip to BlogHer in August in San Diego. Seriously.
So, why aren’t there more dads writing parenting blogs? I have a few theories of my own, keeping in mind that I likely wrote this after 4+ cups of coffee…
Dads Don’t Read Blogs
(Dads) don’t have time to be reading about feelings, ‘love languages’, breast feeding techniques, debates about which is more difficult – raising boys or girls and other such trivial parenting topics. Dads visit CNN.com or FoxNews.com from time to time.
Oh, and don’t forget about eTrade.com to check those stock quotes and the occasional porn site when the need…ahem…arises.
Other than the aforementioned sites, we don’t have time to be reading about feelings, ‘love languages’, breast feeding techniques, debates about which is more difficult – raising boys or girls and other such trivial parenting topics. Give us a break, ok? We have no opinion on these silly topics and even if we did we wouldn’t want to share them with you!
If you need us we will be out in the garage watching TV.
Dads Don’t Participate in Parenting
Here’s the deal – we’ve been at work all day. Yeah, that’s like 8 hours…maybe even a little longer. The last thing we want to do when we come home is sit down at the computer and work (again).
We want to have a seat in our favorite Lay-z-boy, drink a beer or seven and relax.
That’s it.
You go ahead and take care of laundry, dinner, the dishes, cleaning the house, feeding the children, homework, bath time and the various other duties that parents are required to do. So what if you went to work for the day as well? You’re the mom; act like one!
Oh…and bring me another beer!
Dads Don’t Write (or Can’t or Won’t)
Parenting topics, for the most part are…well, they’re kinda boring.
Now, if you wanted us to write articles about the fastest cars in the world, our favorite power tools or how to hit the perfect par 3 using a 2-iron, we’re all about that. If you insist on forcing (or coercing) us into writing boring articles about parenting then it ain’t gonna be pretty.
We’re talking 2nd grade level at best.
There will be no spell check…
No punctuation…
No grammar or capitalization.
Save that crap for you momma! Or We’ll Capitalize Every Word – just to drive you nuts.
Ok, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest and the caffeine is starting to wear off a bit, I hope you were able to tell that this article is satirical and wasn’t meant to be taken seriously. I don’t know why moms dominate the parenting blogosphere with such force; I wish I did know.
The dad blogs that are out there are pretty damn fantastic and I track many of them regularly. We just haven’t garnered the attention and following that many mom blogs enjoy. I do hope that dad blogs continue to grow in quantity and quality and eventually reflect what I feel is our place in the family and on the online family blogging universe.
Dad Blog Suggestions
The Parent Gig – http://www.theparentgig.com
Dad Centric – http://www.dadcentric.com
Happy Divorced Dads – http://www.happydivorceddads.com
Backpacking Dad – http://backpackingdad.com
Late Night Parents – http://latenightparents.com/
Mom Blog Suggestions
Scary Mommy – http://www.scarymommy.com
Single Mom Seeking – http://singlemomseeking.com/blog
Kludgy Mom – http://www.kludgymom.com
Mommy Needs a Vacation – http://mommyneedsavacation.com
Feisty Woman – http://feistywoman.net
Cover photo by instijl via Flickr
There Are Currently 60 Comments on this Post
Finally a mans point of view on parenting keep it up. I have just tried to start righting.
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http://www.youcaring.com/help-a-neighbor/Help-for-a-place-to-call-Home/38500
I’ve long wondered this myself. I’ve noticed that there are a sea of ‘Mom Blogs’ and while that’s brilliant I’ve long been a believer that having more opinions and points of view available to read/draw inspiration from is always better than having fewer. I took a quick look at some of your recommended Dad links – sadly one of them is no longer up and running – but the best I’ve come across out of that list is Backpacking Dad. At the very least, I hope this post inspires more Dads to get behind a keyboard.
Matt
I agree with your article and it’s very informative. I agree because it’s so true that sometimes we need to read some tips on parenting as fathers. Having children is a great responsibility and researching things that might help us would be very helpful to us.
Yeah dude, probably a combo of things. Likely the market is just smaller though. Good for you, huh?
Adam Alvarado recently posted..The Epic Post on Change God Himself Would Write (If He Had Thumbs)
I’ve had some pretty decent opportunities floated my way. I’d like to think it’s something to do with my abilities rather than just a straight lack of competition.
Ha!! Awesome article and talk about hitting the nail on the head! I’m a father of 5 kids and have been working from home for nearly 10 years now. You are Right, there is literally hundreds of blogs written by moms, for moms. I think they are great and frequently visit them, comment on them and discuss issues. However, there is literally a desert of blogs written by work at home dads. I really appreciate the list you’ve given above and will definitely take a look at them! It’ll be great to network with other guys who are in the same position as myself. Cheers.
Well said, you hit the nail on the head, our problem is we arn’t active enough on the parenting sites, we dont let our voice be heard. The wman who stay home need to connect, I think, only because I myself am now doing, that more single fathers are getting int the swing of it for the same reasons as the moms that stay home with the kids. Its away to connect, away for us to share, and learn from other dads/moms. I just found this one, and I’m already hooked.
Thank you-
Joe
Joe recently posted..Falling
Hi,
I love this topic. You’ve hit most of the key points. I’ll inlcude my perspective. I’m a recent dad. I’ve considered starting a “dad-blog” but haven’t gotten around to it. I’m a business person and blog on other topics (related to my job).
I think running a parenting blog would be great. It could be a fun project with my wife. But it’s my wife who does the lion’s share of the research about our baby because she’s on maternity leave (not that she has more time than me because a newborn is a ton of work). It just happens she’s researching the topics and I suspect the mom-focused blogs resonate more with her.
That said, if I were to be a stay-at-home dad, I think that would be a fascinating topic because it’s a growing trend.
Jon D. recently posted..Spousal Support and Common Law Relationships in British Columbia
Hi Jon – thanks for your comment and congrats on the new arrival! Certainly, blogging is a case of supply meeting demand. As you mentioned, your wife does the research and she’d be far more likely to visit a “mom blog” than a “dad blog” for advice. But I think (and hope) as fathers participate more in their children’s upbringings that trend will change where you’ll see more interaction among dads the way we see among moms today.
This is the blog that I have to share to my friends with…It totally made me chuckle!! It has become a great outlet and I’ve learned a lot and grown as a better person because of it. Thanks for sharing this to us!! Have a great day!
Angel Collins recently posted..Feel Good Friday: Eco Room Redesign and Décor
Great Site and Great Blog Post!!Dad bloggers are around and I do believe blogging more and more everyday. Sure, there are more mom blogs out there and there are dad blogs as well. Take a peek at the Daddyplace site. Just for dads. There is more activity in the forums than the blog, but blogs are picking up in activity and I think they will continue to do so!Great site man. Love it!
That’s very nice post. Your blog would really give inspiration to DAD’S it very interesting. Although your blog seems little bit biased as you might need to not only concern about DAD’S, you need to concern about both. That’s what my opinion is. But overall that’s a great blog you have. keep posting.
John Cooper recently posted..Girls Bedding
i think it is becoming more evenly balanced with women and men bloggers. Perhaps parenting blogs there will be more woman authors.
-Jusstine
Psychic L.A.
My husband blogs. He even blogs well. (He’s a great writer.) He just blogs about electronics instead of parenting.
I think your “Dads don’t participate in parenting” probably hits closest to home. Even my husband, who is a domestic god who does more than his fair share of “lady” chores like cooking and cleaning and laundry, isn’t as active in the whole parenting thing yet as I am. Granted, we’re still expecting, but when it has come to researching all the things we need to be prepared for a baby or how to take care of babies? It’s been all me. My husband is happy to hear me sum up my research or share the conclusions I’ve arrived at, but as for doing the leg work to figure it out…that’s been left up to me.
I blog about having a kid, and he doesn’t, because I spend a lot of my time researching it, thinking about it, and doing it. I’m blogging about it because I need to reach out and feel support from other people doing the same thing. Not to knock my husband, because he’s great, but he just hasn’t done the sort of parenting work that I have so far and wouldn’t have much to talk about if he were to attempt blogging about it.
Electronics on the other hand…
PS: I’m here from the Moms with Voices Media Alexa drop hop. I have to say, you are by far my favorite find of the day. I’m so excited you were on the link list! I’ll definitely be reading more from you.
PPS: You should definitely go to BlogHer!
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I’am a single dad of a 5 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. We are victims of Domestic Violence and we are homeless. I have just began my own blog and started to contribute to other single dad blogs. Through my own struggles, I was led to starting up a Non-Profit organization called Donations For Dad. Anyways, I’am here to support all our single dad blogs out there. Together, we can change the world…One dad at a time.
I think you have a good point about being at work all day and then not wanting to sit in front of a computer again. That could be true for both men and women. Thanks for linking up at the Super Sunday Stumble–I’ve +1ed and stumbled this post. We’d love to have you link up again this week!
Great site! I really love the layout as well as your other sites!! Stopping by from the Alexa Drop Hop! I’ll be back for sure!
Hey Melissa,
Thanks for taking the time to leave a few comments. I’m glad you like my sites. I work very hard on them and little compliments like yours mean a lot!
I think you’re right that generally women prefer the communication style of blogs – having a blog is like having a diary or a best friend at hand constantly. That said, I do think that dad blogs can add valuable insights.
I’m curious – is there anything you think dad blogs do ‘better’ in general over mom blogs? Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.
Hey, visiting you through the Alexa hop. I agree with your post. I also think women in general value communications and building connections with others over men.
Here’s my blog. Please leave a comment when you visit letting me know you were there My Baby Sleep Guide
If you leave me an alexa review, I would be happy to leave one for you. Just leave a comment on my site letting me know.
Thanks!
Rachel
Love this! It totally made me chuckle. Also reinforced something I was talking to a client about the other day, in that we were ignoring Dad’s online from the parenting scene.
So if you don’t mind getting me that beer, I’ll see about helping our clients address that. (Yep, I’m a gal that sees no need to have finished working to crack that beer.)
~ Emme
Emme Rogers recently posted..Humbling Moments
Hahaha FANTASTIC comment, thanks so much for stopping by!
I wish more fathers would blog. I understand the “doesn’t want to come home from work just to work again.” My husband told me the same thing months ago.
Stopping by from the MBS Alexa Blog Hop. Left you a review
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Thanks for stopping by The Alexa Drop Hop! I left you a review.
I completely agree with some of the comments above. (I just found your great blog by the way)
Blogging for women is more akin to writing in a journal or diary. Many guys don’t grow up documenting their thoughts, feelings, ideas, etc. which makes blogging a bit more foreign – especially if it about a personal topic.
For me, this is the blog that I have to share to my friends with…
You know, I realize this is all written tongue in cheek…but you have to realize a certain portion of it is true. Are Dad’s (men) big talkers? Certainly not as much as women. Are Dad’s all about sitting around with other Dad’s and having parenting convo’s? Certainly not as much as women. And so on…
That said, I love a GOOD Dad blog!!
@Mercurial Oh, I know much of it IS true! I think that’s what makes it ironic – at least to some extent. Not all men are like that, just like not all women like to sit around and talk about breast feeding or cloth diapers. I think the best blogs on both sides are ones that don’t fall into the usual routine, but break the mold to some degree. Thanks again for taking the time to leave a comment!
FUNNY! Oh did I find this hysterical! I have been begging my very handy hubby to start a blog and after reading this he might actually be considering!
PS. You accidentally left me off your list of favorite mom blogs – girliemom.com (lol)
One of my guy friends has just started a Daddy Blog: http://boysplayingdad.wordpress.com
When I started to develop my blog idea just a few months ago I did some searching and didn’t find many dad blogs out there. Now that I have been developing more and more and increasing my research I find that there are a lot of dad blogs, but a lot of them tend to not post frequently. I find that it is good for my personal growth as well as the growth of my blog to force myself to post at least once a day even though I am working full time also and many days don’t feel like I have the time.
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Thank you for this insightful post about DAD Blogs! I follow a few, but I am happy to add more!
Great post. There are quite a few Dad blogs in the UK but way, way more written by mothers. I’d really like to connect with other SAHDs like myself – there are 200,000 in the UK – but very few bloggers. Those that do blog, though, are rather excellent at it (myself not included in that last statement!). Perhaps men just aren’t as comfortable with discussing their emotional worlds as mums?
Reluctant Housedad recently posted..My wife worried she was a terrible mother Here she explains why…
You should go to BlogHer in August. But you should definitely also go to Dad 2.0 Summit next spring. You *have* heard about Dad 2.0, right?
Yeah, definitely heard about it. I actually made a list of all (that I could find) blog-related conferences in the US. BlogHer and Dad 2.0 are at the top! San Diego in August would be fantastic! Have you heard anything more about Dad 2.0? Their site still only has a ‘coming soon’ graphic.
http://www.dad2summit.com/
Update – Dad 2.0 site is up with lots of info now. The summit is in March, 2012 and I’d love to go but 2012 is going to be an expensive year!
Hmmm, not sure I agree with the “mom like to talk more” theory. I think it’s more that moms like to make personal connections with other moms and vent about their stuff. That being said, I love dad blogs! So refreshing and hearing a different perspective is great!
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I'd like to just smash some points together on a smorgasbord of answer. I think a lot of the reaction — that women are using their blogs to forge connections — is borne out in other data in how women use the internet. Some of the stuff I've seen is about women utilizing it for social functions and men are using it more for task-oriented information finding.
But I also think that it's borne out of the difference in how women communicate. A lot of the frustrations of parenting made up much of early Mom blog content and women tend to like to listen and empathize. Men like to solve problems and provide solutions. There are any number of marital arguments that begin because of this. So blogs can become a way for women to do what they do, rally to support a fellow mom.
But let's not take timing out of it, either. Women were way out in front of blogging at a time when citizen journalism and self-publishing was really starting to take hold. I'm not saying that's the only factor, but it shouldn't be discounted.
DaddyFiles' point is well-taken. I've been a "daddy blogger" (erk) for two years and I feel like I'm just now finally starting to find my voice and better understand what I'm trying to do there.
How about this explanation: Women like to talk.
That extends, of course to the written word. And that snowballs to networks of the likeminded. Good for them, blogging and social networking dissolve the "tyranny of distance" like the phone did for previous generations.
But I don't see any relevance to the "My mommy can outblog your daddy" phenomenon.
Us guys communicate differently among ourselves, and with our spouses, than do the ladies amongst themselves. That carries over to our blogs. We flick around them like we do with the TV remote, catching the highlights. We don't comment much. Our "networks" consist of sporadic one-liners in the comments, on facebook, or twitter feed. A "conversation" lasts for 3 status updates.
But is that any different to how we operate in real life? I'd suggest not. It's just hard to translate the typical "guy" communication style, as reliant as it is on physical cues (tone, ribbing, eyebrow raising, one-upmanship, etc) into a format that is comparatively dry (for guys).
Thanks for the satire, I couldn't agree more.
One more dad blog coming right up, http://www.learnmeproject.com
Let me know what you think?
The reason there are more mom-bloggers is because women are more natural talkers, and that trend extends digitally as well. Before the internet – the image of the housewife was a woman holding a baby in one hand and a phone in the other. Before cordless phones, the image was a group of women in a living room, chatting, while the kids and babies all entertained each other nearby. The image of a husband was constant – a man sitting at a desk, crunching numbers.
Also notable is that women are the primary (with a capital P) spenders in the household – and they're more than happy to talk about it with each other; the products they buy, the products they like and dislike, and the products they've blacklisted because of poor performance. Men will typically make a decision and buy a product without discussing it with anyone – sometimes without even mentioning it to the wife. Whether this phenomenon is because the man typically has "other things to worry about" or if it's just hardwired into his gender character is yet to be solved. It's possible that if marketing firms threw more money at men and stopped making them look like baboons in commercials, that men would be more receptive to information. But it's all a marketing game – and unfortunately it's a cycle; firms won't bank on men until men are something to be banked upon.
Clearly, there are plenty of male writers. Men are tech-savvy. Men are everything that women are, but gender roles still keep.
As a male "blogger" (I'd prefer writer, but that's a whole 'nother story), I am daunted with the numbers of visits our site gets. But we offer something that many father's sites don't – news about fathers. People do want to read about your kids, but a hurdle that fathers' websites are tripping on is that they're too personal. Everything's broken up with stories about their kids. There's nothing wrong with writing about your kids – but if you check out all of the top motherhood sites – they're informative, talk about scientific studies, and community. Fathers' sites are just now scratching the surface, and fathers are unfortunately so excited that they've got a voice, that they're spending their time in the sun talking about their OWN kids and not telling the readers what this experience means to them, the reader. Think globally, act locally; fatherhood writers need to think about a GLOBAL internet audience, and act based on their own experience. I don't mean to be rude, but I don't care if your kid just got potty trained. But I do care about how you got him there. I care about the products you used. I care about the tips you can give me.
So – fathers need to emulate what they're seeing in motherhood blogs and sites and copy it. After all, if you wanted to train to be the best baseball player, for example, you wouldn't try to emulate a minor leaguer – you'd look at the major league guys and copy THEM. Let's DO THIS, father-bloggers!
And a shameless plug – please visit us at http://www.8BitDad.com and enjoy – tell us how we're doing!
Keep up the great work, D – see you around the blogosphere!
Interesting Zach, but I disagree a bit here.
Dad blogs should NOT try to be like mom blogs. I don't really care about advertisers or product reviews. I'll do them if they interest me, sure, but that's not the goal. I simply want to try to entertain people and hopefully make a few friends along the way. While mom bloggers are out there desperately seeking as much swag as possible, I just laugh. Because I don't want to read about your sponsored trip to Disney. Why? Because Disney friggin paid for you to go. Of course you're going to kiss their ass. I see nothing to be gained by reading a blog like that.
But if your personal story is something I can relate to, I'll come back. If you're funny, write well and your content is engaging and personable, I'm in.
So I hope dads continue to be very, very different from mom blogs.
Interesting points for both. I found this link on a mom blog site. At first I scoffed at the idea of mom blogs being about the free stuff and I still think it's hard to generalize across a genre. You just can't say "All 'x' are 'y'" about anything.
Of the self-registered sites in the two categories: PR-Friendly Mom Blogs and Mom Blogs with very little product emphasis. Check out the numbers for each here: http://www.5minutesformom.com/34651/ultimate-blog…
I kinda agree about not wanting to read about the sponsored trips, and products. I just started following some parenting blogs and have been slightly disappointing with the amount of posts that are just advertisements for some product. I read blogs for advice, motivation, a good story, not to hear about some product tying to be sold to me. It cheapens the whole blogging experience in my opinion. I do understand why they do is since many are trying to make a living off of their blogs and the advertisers have found a good way to peddle their goods.
Hi Cindy,
Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. I think there can be a balance between sponsored content and entertaining/informative. What do you think?
Having been in this only a short time myself, I'm going to share my little .02 Mom blogs are bigger because dads, in many cases, still have a lone wolf mentality… in comparison to moms. Moms tend to band together and create these expansive networks of blogs which attract advertisers, etc. and they're able to translate those networks into large numbers of traffic. Guys… not so much. We are different and tend to handle community differently. There have been some attempts at dad communities and some thrive and some fall by the wayside.
Ultimately, it will happen, but I think many of us are still finding our way and our voice. Great post!
Men tend to be practical and goal-oriented, even those who writer, and there is no money to be made in personal blogging. Many moms jumped in to the blogging fray because there is more potential for profit. The reason that mommyblogging is so big is that advertisers and corporations feel that women do all of the purchasing and listen to each other's advice on what dishwashing liquid to buy. I find this completely retro and old fashioned, and it would be nice if the marketing companies would step out of the 1950s, but it is still an uphill battle for the dadbloggers..
It's no different than guys asking for directions, most of us don't. Reading a blog would like raising our hands and saying "we may need a little help". And many of those that do read don't engage with the blogger via comments or feedback. And lastly, dudes just don't interact in the same way as women do ergo the blogosphere is just foreign to them.
Memoirs of a Single Dad…
Single dad, author, blogger, cupcake addict and pseudo techno nerd. I think, therefore I write (about dating, parenting, technology and everything in between!…
I love this post! I agree with the comments here. I fell into the world of blogging when I was at home all day with a newborn. It has become a great outlet and I've learned a lot and grown as a person because of it. The last couple years I've slowly seen dad blogs emerging! This may be because Dads have taken on different roles as stay at home or work at home dads. Who knows!!
I think that in most categories of personal blogs and society blogs there are also a sortage of men. They seem to dominate in tech, business and finance, but beyond those categories I think that there are more women bloggers than men in most categories. I know this sounds so sexist, but I think that women have such a bigger desire to continually express ourselves than men do. We seem to talk more and I guess that may have evolved into blogging more as well.
I agree with Marisa, the majority of parenting falls to the Mother, often times by choice. It can be very isolating, and blogging, or reading about other "moms" experiences makes you feel a little more normal and a little less crazy. It is nice that more Dads are blogging; their/your point of view offers a nice balance. And really when it all comes down to it, Mom or Dad, single parent, co-parenting, married, etc. in the end we're all just parents and trying to do the best we can.
It is nice to see more and more dads getting into blogging. I always like reading your perspective. Great post and such a good list of suggestions.
I agree with you on this (even though I just started as well and am by no means THAT knowledgeable yet.) I think there will be an upswing again soon, though. There are already forces moving in that direction.
That's a good list, btw – The man behind Sex and the Single Dad is an awesome guy. I like him.
Nice post!
I just found Sex and the Single Dad recently but his posts already have me hooked. He's on my regular rounds of blog reading that I do every week.
Thanks for the comment!
I like this post. I started DadBlogging for the same therapeutic and journalistic reasons, but now I feel a need to grow a network of dad bloggers to get the Modern Dad the recognition he needs. This may not rival the MomBloggers, but we may not need that.
I've been trying to get onto some of those DadBlog sites, but I think I'm still finding my Blog-Voice. Great Post!.
Me too, JB. Not because 'the girls are doing it' but because I'd like to feel some camaraderie like the girls do. That and I also firmly believe that blogging in numbers helps the individual blogger as well. I've already learned so much AND my creativity is also sparked through that interaction.
I have a small theory… I think perhaps there are more "mom blogs" than "dad blogs" because more women are staying home to raise their children and it's a way to connect and not feel alone. Staying at home every day with a child can be extremely isolating until you get your footing and land into a supportive "mommy group". I've had my blog for a while and it chronicles years before I was pregnant, then my pregnancy and recently, my foray into motherhood. It's been a great way to connect with other moms and to sometimes vent about irritating things (like Austin not napping) and to cheer on the happy days. Because, let's face it – I can't call my husband and work to complain about the THIRD poopy diaper in one day. BUT, I can do it online and no one has to read it, but if they do, perhaps they can relate.
Those are basically the reasons I blog as a mom.
Oh, I definitely agree. I'm not a stay at home dad, but I do work from home most days so sometimes I feel like a SAHD. I can definitely see how someone would go stir crazy!